53rd Day Shit Times got 12 ‘Bold, Creative Planning’?

Source: http://en.kremlin.ru/Source: http://en.kremlin.ru/

Aiyoh, look at the ‘tokong’ outcomes of  our ‘creative and bold planning’! 

I refer to the front page headline news “Bold, creative planning key to reimagining the future: PM” (Straits Times, Aug 9).

It states that “Tomorrow, we celebrate National Day. Singapore has come a long way. Today, we are a vibrant, flourishing city-state, offering Singaporeans a good quality of life.

Our policies have served us well for 53 years. As Singapore changes and develops, they must continue to improve people’s lives and maintain confidence in our future.

Singapore’s best days are yet to come. Happy National Day!

Similarly, across Singapore, childcare centres have been opened to ensure all children can have a good start in life, and community healthcare facilities are in the works to bring quality care to people where they live, he added.

“These services will always be affordable,” he said.

As for existing public housing estates, the Housing Board will continue to maintain and upgrade them, he said.

Alluding to the hotly discussed issue of the fate of HDB flats when their 99-year leases run out, he added: “Though the leases still have many years to run, we should think ahead about how we can keep older estates in good living condition, and also start to redevelop them, in order to build new homes and towns for future generations.”

Wrapping up, he said that building Singapore for the next 50 years will be a massive undertaking that will last more than a generation.

“To sustain this project, we will need a strong economy and sound government finances. Most importantly, we need social cohesion, political stability and good government for many years… to carry out and realise our vision.””

My friends said “aiyah, just read the Shit Times today lah – page by page – so many hints on how tokong Sinkapor has been in “Bold, Creative Planning” hor!

See Page A4 – Got 1 hospital call KK (kotok kotok) one – so creative and bold planning until everything more expensive one! haha

Then now quickly do reverse planning – reduce fees here and there lah – even sponge baths no need to pay extra anymore lah!

Oh oh – Healthcare is affordable meh!

Page B1 – Very creative and bold planning, is it or not or what – how come can become world famous one – Erection for President become no contest one! Biggest politics joke of the century in the history of the world – change election rules – only very few people can qualify to stand for President hor! Like Animal Farm, oink oink!

Like National Day awards lah – Awarded 173 in the world hor for Electoral Freedom ranking hor!

Full Page Ad after Page B4 – Wow full page ad on skillsfuture hor! – Ya lor, keep telling you to upgrade until more than 800k – 4 in 10 workers earn less than $2,000 (after less employee CPF) or unemployed!

Page B8 – So creative and bold planning until your boss’s pay is less than yours lah! – Got pictures of perm secs get award – so timely hor – just few days ago, got minister say do you know perm sec get higher pay than junior Minister – so low pay how to get good Minister har!

Page B13 – Reminds you of most expensive ‘creative and bold planning’ – 400k dustbin – NAC now get Gold Medal hor!

Page B15 – Award for university one – must be very creative and bold planning lah – so many tokong universities run away, MIT, UC, JH, Tisch, UNSW!

Page B17 – SMRT CCO resign – reminds you of must be very creative and bold planning right – train breakdown everyday lah!

Page B20 – Minister say “Salaries not starting point in search for ministers” – this one lagi best – so creative and bold planning until pay $1.1 million also nobody want to work hor!

Page B21 – Shit Times own full page red Ad – congrats on your very creative and bold planning – until kenna awarded 151st in the world for Press Freedom! Clap! Clap!

Pages C8 to C10 – 3 full pages on football – Sinkies favourite sport – World Cup 2010 dream gone lah – and now every game lose one and clubs forced to close one by one – take their jackpots away means like death sentence lah – no brains one, no wonder don’t know how to play football and never win one lah?

Page C14 – Half page on how to be good employer/employee – ya, so good creative and bold planning until 47% of workers non-Singaporeans – welcome foreign talent – no jobs, low pay for Sinkies lah – Cleaners still get $1.1k – celebrate! celebrate!

Life – No need to go circus for comedy lah – creative and bold planning means you can see comedy everyday – don’t know whether to laugh or cry lah – most expensive city in the world for the 5th year running lah! So, many grab drivers and low-pay workers – sigh! sigh! Still got people working for $6 an hour – slave pay what!

Here’s to sama sama creative and bold planning in the future years – but please don’t end up like the above results hor! seriously!”

Leong Sze Hian

 

 

 

About the Author

Leong
Leong Sze Hian has served as president of 4 professional bodies, honorary consul of 2 countries, an alumnus of Harvard University, authored 4 books, quoted over 1500 times in the media , has been a radio talkshow host, a newspaper daily columnist, Wharton Fellow, SEACeM Fellow, columnist for theonlinecitizen and Malaysiakini, executive producer of Ilo Ilo (40 international awards), invited to speak more than 200 times in over 30 countries, CIFA advisory board member, founding advisor to the Financial Planning Associations of Indonesia and Brunei. He has 3 Masters, 2 Bachelors degrees and 13 professional  qualifications.